Broken Down

I woke up this morning feeling horrible. I remembered one flaw to Intermittent Fasting. Low blood sugars. I had to break my fast and, guys, it broke me. I ate a peach and cried my eyes out.

I haven’t been able to eat what I want due to conflicts in the kitchen. So I’ve been hangry and craving for days. Then I broke the fast. I felt horrible. Honestly, I have felt suicidal these last few days and I had no spoons left.

My SO has been struggling with his own things lately, so it felt like there was no hope. We skipped karate today because my SO threw their back out. And any break in routine kills me. I feel worthless and angry when I can’t follow through with my set goals. Even the small ones.

SO convinced me to pause my diet. I conceded that maybe timing is bad right now. So I’ll be trying to stay healthy, but not the 16 hour fast. I can use the kitchen in the mornings typically but if I break my fast that early, I end up spending a huge amount of my day fasting and miserable. Maybe just reduced calories and shakes for some meals?

It’s stupid how a simple meal can really perk up my horrid mood. I had a peach at 3am. then around 3pm, I had Singapore noodles and an egg roll from my favorite take away place. My SO and I ate in our car, sitting by the dam, chatting about this and that. I needed the mini date and the brief escape from our house. Cabin fever is real. Especially when you only have one room to call your space.

It’s crazy how much a little self-care can recharge you. I still feel … drained. And I’m battling the idea that food is the enemy, but I feel like I had a spoon ready now.

I managed to clean my bunny’s cage, trim her nails, and wash her dirty bottom. The antibiotics really did a number on her belly. We cuddled for a long time and I made a TikTok of her. So that gave me another spoon.

@a_whooter

I just imagine my Bunny being a mad British lady. Poor Velveteen #rue21BeYouChallenge #bunny #bun #rabbit

♬ A-O-K – Tai Verdes

So yeah, not great right now, but better. Sorry if yesterday was a bad post. Thanks for reading!

Published by Whooter

Southern Peach 🍑, in her 30’s - Artist 🎨 + Bibliophile 📚 + Geek 🎮 + Nerd 👓 + Animal-Lover 🐾 + Bipolar Disorder 💢 x Anxiety 😨 x PTSD 💣÷ DBT Therapy ✨ + Mental Health Matters 🧠 = ME 👩🏽

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