Something you should be aware of: Suicide Survivor. This term can often refer to someone who has lost a loved one to suicide or Suicide Attempt Survivor meaning someone who attempted suicide. These are two very different things.
I shared my suicide attempt story with the Live Through This project run by Dese’Rae Stage way back in 2014. My story is probably buried way down in the website so I’ll just link it here. I got a lot of flack from friends back right after my suicide attempt. Even now, I’m really nervous about talking about my mental health issues with people I know locally. There’s a lot of stigma.
At some of my jobs, I’ve actually had coworkers blame my mental health issues instead of the actual problems at hand. Like unfair work conditions. Or stressful situations that would cause even those without mental health disorders to get frazzled. I am more than my mental health disorder. There is no one label that makes me who I am.
Sometimes when I go back and read through the interview for Live Through This, I realize how jumbled up my thoughts were back then. I didn’t have DBT therapy back then. I was still freshly on most of my psych medications and didn’t have a real handle on exactly what I should be doing for myself.
My past self is someone that is very hard to look back upon. The Headspace video that I linked up above has been really helpful in reflecting over my past self. You are the person you are today because of everything you experienced previously. The good, the bad, and the horrible. You shouldn’t let yourself get pulled too deeply into your past. Don’t dwell on what has happened. Learn from these incidents and encounters, but don’t allow them to overshadow the present.
Please excuse this photo of me. Dese’Rae would do the interview then take our photograph right afterwards. I cut my own hair back in the day and … was not very good at it. I don’t feel like this is the most flattering picture of myself. We weren’t modeling or anything, but I’m very self conscious of how I look. (FAT~!) Click on the photo below to go to the page.
Southern Peach 🍑, in her 30’s – Diabetic 🩸 + Artist 🎨 + Bibliophile 📚 + Geek 🎮 + Nerd 👓 + Animal-Lover 🐾 x Mental Health Matters 🧠 ÷ Bipolar 💢 x Anxiety 😨 x PTSD 🤯 = ME 👩🏽
If everything were cut-and-dry, you could easily assign labels to everyone. But we’re honestly more than some label. It feels like half our anguish in life is defining ourselves. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized there are things about myself that I couldn’t define when I was younger. That doesn’t change who I am and I’m okay with that.
Thanks for reading, guys. I hope my Suicide Survival story doesn’t scare most of you off.