A week after Velveteen passed, I finally started to clean up her space. It had been hard to do anything right afterwards. My SO had my step daughter stay out of the living room, because the whole thing had my emotions raw and I was really sensitive. Her computer is in our living room and the having Minecraft videos blasting in the background while I was sobbing over my pet’s cage was not ideal.
I put up an ad on Facebook to sell the unopened bag of rabbit food I had leftover after Velveteen died. So the day I started to clean up her space, I also made a point to gather up everything that would be useful for another rabbit. Nail clippers, brushes, some chew toys that were barely used. At this point, it wasn’t about money. I just want to get the items out of the house and for someone to get some use out of them. (At the time of this post, I haven’t actually met up with the lady from Facebook.)
Taking apart her little bunny condo was devastating for my heart. I bought a large dog crate with some birthday money about four years ago. I used some square wooden dowels and had Home Depot cut some plyboard in half. I used some peel and stick linoleum tiles to create a nice surface for her to hang out on the second level. I’d switch things around occasionally so she wouldn’t get bored.
I have so much bunny stuff that I’m going to offer this lady from Facebook. A carrying backpack that we used to use while we were hiking. A pop up pen that was what housed her during road trips. The huge bin that I used to store her hay in. Both of Velveteen’s favorite hidey homes. I feel bad, but keeping things doesn’t make any sense. I’ll never get another rabbit. Her and Jethro have a special place in my heart and I can’t bring myself to fill it.
My emotions still feel really raw after loosing Velveteen. I’ll go grab a carrot from the fridge to eat and cry. Or start to grab a handful of lettuce and realize that I don’t need to go give her any. She was a very big part of my life. The same with Mango. I had popcorn the other day and set aside a small bowl for her only to remember that she’s gone.
I did a Canvas Webtoon for a few weeks way back in the day and the introduction comic included some pet pictures. So I thought I’d share my drawings of Velveteen and Mango. Sweet girls. My sweet babies. I love you so much. It feels like pets are such sweet loving creatures that they just can’t stay with us as long as others. (Loosing a pet is never as hard as loosing a person, but urgh, it’s still rough.) Both of my pets were definitely there for me to cry on and cuddle with when my dad passed away.
Eventually, I guess I’ll mend. The last few years, my SO and I have kicked around the idea of what we’d want to do pet wise. Because getting a new pet is not something you just up and decide to do one day. Pets are a long term commitment. I’ve never actually had a “baby” pet before. All of my pets were rescues that were full grown by the time they came into my possession.
Mango was 11 when I first adopted her. We had a good long 10 years together. And Velveteen was already a year old by the time she came from my Sister’s house to me. I can’t even think about all the other pets we’ve had. It just makes my heart heavier as I think about each of them. I suppose some day I’ll want another pet.
But those are like long term … very distant dreams.
I’m still working on a memorial piece for Velveteen. I’ve found all her old outfits and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with them. Keeping them as whole items will be bulky so I might try to collage something together with pieces. If anyone has some suggestions or ideas, please feel free to leave me a comment in the messages.
Thanks for listening to my lamentations. I’ll try to do something a bit more upbeat tomorrow!