When I try to stretch back to thoughts about Christmas, it feels like a string of very, VERY bad memories. A decade of pain with my ex-husband. A lot of questions about whether I was loved, deserving of love, and struggling with my depression. Christmas 2008 held a lot of triggering events towards my homelessness in 2009. It’s a lot of issues that I don’t even know whether it’s healthy or not to go back and unpack.
Thankfully, 2019 was probably a huge healing session for me.
I guess before I launch into my rambling post. When is it too early to start celebrating Christmas? I personally love Christmas. I’ve seen people do a Nightmare Before Christmas-themed tree that stays up from September until New Year. (Which in my opinion is pretty baller!) I’ve heard from some people in Canada that Canadian Thanksgiving happens before Halloween so they don’t think it’s strange to start celebrating Christmas on November 1st. I know some people wait until December to celebrate and then others decorate just before Thanksgiving so that it looks nice when family are visiting.
How do you feel? Are you a staunch believer in boundaries between the holidays? Is Christmas a big religious thing for you? Or do you think the holiday has gone corporate and money crazy? For me, I’ve got this huge bundle of emotions. They’ve gotten better, but I really think a lot of that has to do with 2019.
Velveteen and I were up in Michigan for Youmacon back in 2019. Youmacon usually happens on Halloween weekend so when November 1st rolled in, the Marriot hotel we were staying in had cable television. Did you know that Hallmark has a Christmas movie marathon? Needless to say that my bestie, Jay, Miss Bunny, and I all binge-watched Christmas movies whenever we were up in the room.
Later in the year, I would end up traveling to south Georgia to spend time with my Dad and step-mom, then down to see my sister in Florida. This was the first Christmas in forever that I got to see my Dad and the last. I had so much fun and my Dad shared his Bible Study group with me. (They had a Christmas party I got to attend.)
My SO’s Aunt hosted a Christmas card-making party earlier in the month so I was able to bring everyone homemade Christmas cards. The one I made my Dad was one of my favorites. My Dad really enjoyed himself. It was hilarious trying to help him set up the automatic salt and pepper grinders my brother sent him for Christmas. As you can see, he was thrilled with the present.
I had a ton of fun down in Florida with my sister. It was a ton of mending and making up for the lost time. The day we spent in Mount Dora was gorgeous. I had a ton of fun taking photographs around the city. And my sister’s beau made the most amazing Christmas-themed beverages the entire time I was there.
I’m going down to Florida again this year to see family. Last year … my Dad had passed away in September, the COVID pandemic was in full swing, and nothing seemed right. So I’m actually really looking forward to Christmas this year! We’re on a tight budget, but I’m planning to do my best!
I’m really looking forward to being by the ocean again. There’s something really peaceful about the water that always soothes my soul. I’m BEYOND excited to see my sister and my nieces again. I’ve bought a few things in preparation since I saw them already stocking up at the stores. I suppose that’s one of the issues people have. Christmas is already starting to stare us down in the stores.
Personally, I’m okay with this. I want to get Christmas stuff done and not worry about it once the crowds start panicking. Is it just me? I’m going to go sip some eggnog and listen to Christmas music on Spotify. (Headset on so my SO doesn’t go insane.) Happy Holidays, my blog buddies!