CHAOS and the Weekend

So what did you do this weekend?

The cats keep jumping up on the buffet where the television is located. That’s not a great location for them so we’ve been trying to cajole them into moving to a better spot. New cat beds were one attempt. Now we’ve got a new cat tree. It is not as large as I thought. And … there might have been some confusion on the assembly, so the square box on the middle level is wonky. OOPS. I did let my stepdaughter help me assemble the thing too. Did you know that if you can assemble an item with someone and not kill each other, that means … uh … you’re normal?

As you can see, the … tree was … off a bit. It was weird. I hope they like it.

I also put on some fresh nails because I’m really self-conscious of how they look. As well as preventing myself from picking at them too much or biting them. I’ve had this set for a while and picked the blunt, square ones since I had karate on Saturday. I avoid sharper nails when I’m going to be doing karate. We have a test coming up next weekend and I’m beyond nervous.

I know my stuff. I’ve had all of the material memorized for a long time now. It’s just my nerves. I stopped performing music because of my nerves. I changed my major in college because I realized being a music major was not for me. Crying before performances, during performances. I’ve always been anxious. Tests in high school and college were nightmares.

I’d get the sweats, the shakes, and usually end up puking. Doesn’t matter if I know it. It’s like all those nightmares you have. You show up to a class you’ve NEVER been to before and sit down to take a test. The material? You’re clueless. You fail. You suck. Everyone around you laughs. Then you realize you’re naked. By the way, I have actually been exposed naked before. My ex-husband used to let people into the house without warning so I’d walk out of my room naked as the day I was born to guests. OOPS. “Oh, hi, honey, you’re home! Sorry for traumatizing your friends, let me just go get dressed and … go kill myself.

I know that I know my stuff. I know that my anxiety is unreasonable. But that’s the whole point. Things that cause us anxiety aren’t always reasonable. And I will still be doing the test, I just honestly have to vent my frustrations. There are other people in our class who were recently promoted who did not have to have formal tests.

So that’s my weekend angst. At least I was a bit productive. We even got “Wee Three Trees” up for Christmas. It’s our tradition instead of doing a large tree.

I’m going to go sip some eggnog and relax. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Published by Erin Seto

Southern Peach ๐Ÿ‘, in her 30โ€™s - Artist ๐ŸŽจ + Bibliophile ๐Ÿ“š + Geek ๐ŸŽฎ + Nerd ๐Ÿ‘“ + Animal-Lover ๐Ÿพ + Bipolar Disorder ๐Ÿ’ข x Anxiety ๐Ÿ˜จ x PTSD ๐Ÿ’ฃรท DBT Therapy โœจ + Mental Health Matters ๐Ÿง  = ME ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝ

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